The healing of a broken heart.

One of the many things I hate about heartbreak is that before you even open your eyes you remember you are single again and you feel the dreaded heaviness in your chest, soon enough all your friends will be tired of hearing about how heartbroken you are, then everything reminds you of that person and you have to live through everyday and pretend like it doesn’t bother you when it actually splits your heart in half.

In part I spoke about tracing your steps and acknowledging your errors as a path into healing and essentially moving on. I spoke of acknowledging the feeling and being accountable. In this post I want us to talk about looking forward no longer tracing your steps but rather looking forward and the trajectory your steps.

When we speak of a path often at times what comes to mind is a long winding road but that is not always the case unless of course you looking at a cover of a depressing book. Often a path has another path emerging from it to a completely different destination also, when we think of path we think of a travel plan with a set destination. May I submit to you that staying on a path is about choices and that often no one path can help you reach your destination, you may start on one path but have to change to alternate paths as time goes on- this is an analogy of discipline, choices and change.

Now that we have done all the self introspection to see what got us into this mess to begin with its time to put the responsibility on our own hands again, yes that includes to stop blaming the other person for where you are now, its time to regain control and find stability again. Make a conscious decision to put one foot in front of the other and move forward consistently, irrespective of the speed of the pace but by all means keep moving. You will often find that there are different routes in this new path of moving forward, paths that allow you to be petty, vengeful or throw a pity party but whenever you are faced with this conundrum of a decision remember that a path is chosen for its destination, you made the careful consideration to heal so stay focused. Of cause you could have chosen to be petty from the word go but again what is your intended destination?

You can choose which way a disappointment of this magnitude can propel you, from those tethered emotions you can decide on the caliber of person you want to be but be warned, emotions are fleeting and don’t last very long this is were discipline and that wise old teacher named wisdom comes in. When the burning anger or the painful regret wears out, when the passion of wanting to make them regret losing you fades away, and you meet the exact same person in a different body and a different name will you still remember the destination ahead or will you sacrifice the destination for U- turn. The test of life is patterns, can you spot patterns and can you heal what is in you that is attracted to these patterns? Are you willing to stay committed to the path even when the destination seems a bit far?

What about changes? Sometimes you will learn that you might have chosen your destination based on what the other person said you cold never become but as you learn to silence their voice and start thinking of the bigger picture you may realize maybe I don’t want to prove the other person wrong because their opinion doesn’t matter anymore. Maybe you’ll choose you and realize you were amazing just the way you are. You may have gotten yourself on the path of being an instagram baddie because of what they wanted but only to realize you actually wanna be a home maker.

All in all take careful consideration to your new choices, speed and signs along the path that will guide you, some paths have no destination but we are too stubborn to listen